N e o S u c k - Changing the Farce of the Internet

LampreySoft
NeoSuck - A tuna browser for a fish net
© 1999 LampreySoft Technologies

Form e-mail is a necessary evil. Some organizations and individuals get so much mail that a personalized response for common questions, a quick "thanks", or a detailed response to even just the most intelligent messages would be inconvenient at best. There is in most cases, however, someone reading reading these messages.

Quick suggestion: If you are, for any reason, scanning e-mail and sending out form responses, please keep in mind that no response is often much less insulting than the wrong response. Case in point:

Date: Fri, 2 Jul 1999 10:39:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: Delusion <delusion@r33t.org>
To: info@neoplanet.com
Subject: A few thoughts about browsers...

I've written a piece on a (fictional) web browser affectionately called 'NetSuck'. I consider it my 'wish list' for browser features. It's at: http://delusion.smart.net/lampreysoft/

As NeoPlanet is the closest thing to a browser with the interests of actual users in mind (as opposed to the interests of large software firms with an interest in advertising), I'd be interested on your thoughts about integrating some of these ease-of-use, security/privacy, and bandwidth/sanity preservation measures in future versions of your product.

Even if the concepts in NetSuck really aren't your design goals, the article should be good for a laugh ;)

Delusion
LampreySoft

PS: I've actually received serious inquiries about LossySoft availability.
Now *that* is scary.

Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 16:23:23 -0400
From: info@neoplanet.com
To: Delusion <delusion@r33t.org>
Subject: Re: A few thoughts about browsers...

We know you're eager to start customizing and distributing a branded version of NeoPlanet to your users. NeoPlanet is just as excited and wants to make sure this happens as quickly as possible.

Our targeted release day for the NeoPlanet Administrator's Kit is late July/early August. When this is available, you will have the necessary tool to help create your very own custom branded NeoPlanet browser/portal. The NPAK will allow you to see how your branded NeoPlanet will look when completed and to make changes so that everything appears exactly as you want your users to see. Your brand, your browser, your customers.

While you await the NPAK, we strongly suggest you begin work on creating your own skin and putting together a custom channel to include. Please note that the NPAK is not a skin editor and will not help you create a skin, but rather will assist with bringing together all the appropriate files necessary for properly rebranding NeoPlanet. Documentation, including a Photoshop template, for creating a skin can be found on our site, as are directions for making a channel using the channel designer. Once these are completed, creating a branded test version in the NPAK will be as easy as running NeoPlanet was in the first place.

In the meantime, please go to our site and register for the distributor's program. This will insure we have your email and can notify you as soon as the NPAK is ready.

We can't wait to see your browser!

NeoPlanet Support
http://www.neoplanet.com
Maria

Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 16:25:11 -0700 (PDT)
From: Delusion <delusion@r33t.org>
To: info@neoplanet.com
Subject: Re: A few thoughts about browsers...

Next time, why don't you just say: "We didn't actually read your message, here's a piece of form mail that has nothing to do with what you wrote. It's based on someone quickly scanning the first line of your e-mail."

That's really unclassy.

Delusion